Escapisms

• Elderly Europeans seem to like nothing better than strolling up and down the beach in their swimwear.
• At an all inclusive resort it amazes me how much people eat! Who wants hot soup for lunch in 32 degree heat?
• It’s not a hippo on the neighbouring balcony but an oversized Russian clearly banished from his room just snoring like one every night.
• When trying to speak a foreign language, think before you speak. It’s hardly surprising the Spanish looked bemused when you spoke to them in Romanian!
• Shop keepers will always think you’re married with kids back at home if you travel on your own, no matter what country you are in.
• Apparently it’s ok to let toddlers run around near a swimming pool unwatched without armbands on?
• Boobs out when sunbathing is really not a good look, particularly over the age of 50 and you were very wise not to have followed the trend!
• All white clothing looks good on VERY few people.
• Those white leggings you found for £3 are def better in the bin after spotting an oversized lady in a pair – cellulite hell.
• If you keep ordering beer at the bar it won’t be surprising that by the end of the week they see you coming & start pouring your pint before you get to the bar!
• The best idea when looking for a sunbed spot is to look for the largest sunbather – a total confidence booster!
• Lone travelling will ALWAYS end in a burnt back – tho following Steve’s suggestion of squeezing suncream on cling-film & lying on it is ingenious! But no, I didn’t take a roll with me!!
• You were making life easier for your return by checking work emails, no you didn’t have to but it did little harm.
• Canoodling couples in the pool is one thing, but hairy OAP canoodling couples in the pool & on the sunbed next to you, seriously NO NEED!!
• It’s only natural the things you miss the most are your cats, you spend most of your time with them now (well, when they decide to come home, hey!)
• It is quite unreal the clientele in an English themed pub in a place such as Tenerife – EXACTLY as expected! (no I didn’t go in, they were all outside!)
• A break is what YOU make of it.
• You chose not to make a massive effort which meant you were left alone, good on you – it’s what you needed.
• It was definitely the best idea to read lots of the Trip Advisor reviews of the hotel to know what to ask for in advance & watch out for when you are there in the hotel.
• Might be an idea to have taken a towel for the pool & beach – then you wouldn’t have needed to buy one that was crap and basically an oversized flannel (why did you bother bringing it home?!)
• If you want to people watch by the pool you might want to invest in a darker pair of sunnies as think people can see in your current pair.
• Renting the fan for the room was worth every single cent you paid as it was not cool enough really to sleep at night without it!
• The only people that will always look forward to you being home will be your parents (oh and the cats!)